Settling Back In With Your Parents After College

A concern you probably had about moving back in with your parents is that they are going to treat you the same way they did in high school. Sure, you may have just spent the last four years of your life fending for yourself, but to Mom you’re still her little baby. You will have to have a discussion with your parents about how you would like to be treated when you move back in.

Here are a few things to discuss:

Bills
For 18 years you may have lived at home rent-free, but times have changed and you are now an adult and your parents may expect you to pay for things. The amount for rent should be discussed between you and your parents. You may be able to lower your rent by doing extra chores, but remember to keep up your end of the bargain.

Chores
Sure, chores may have been the old you and you shouldn’t have to worry about them anymore, but your parents are saving you hundreds of dollars a month, don’t you think it’s only fair?

Curfew
In college, you could come and go as you please. For some, seeing the sunrise as you headed off to bed meant that you had a great night. But, your parents may not feel the same. Believe it or not, your parents may understand the idea that you want to have a life and that it doesn’t come to an end before 12 AM. Ask them how they feel about what a reasonable time to come would be, they may surprise you. Note: This doesn’t have to be a curfew, think of it more as a courtesy to your parents.

Visitors
It may have seemed that your dorm room had a revolving door on it by how many people would come by for a visit, but that may not fly with the ‘rents. You may even hear them say, “What do you think this is… a Holiday Inn?” I suggest that you give them a heads up when inviting others over. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, this may be something you may want to discuss with them, they may not believe in the “free love” you discovered in college.

Smoking
You may have picked up a smoking habit in college that can be hard to quit. However, telling your parents that you now smoke may be even harder. If your parents’ home was a smoke free zone before, I can imagine that it hasn’t changed. So, it’s probably up to you to either quit or take walks around the corner to smoke.

Noise
Be considerate about the noise level coming from your room. Sure, there is no RA that you can brush off when they knock on your door to tell you to keep it down, but now you have to deal with your mom… that’s someone you can’t really brush off.

Moving Out
As much as they may love you, they want their space back. They’ve raised you for 18 years, don’t you think they want more of a break than just four years? Talk with your parents about how long you plan to stay there and set a date for when you want to move out. Your parents may be more willing to help you while you find a new place when they know that you have a plan in mind.

Action: Sit down and create a contract with your parents that will outline your plans for living at home.

Tools: Check out our Contract With Your Parents Tool

Up Next: You’re a College Grad Now…So Act Like It

This is an excerpt from Deciding Where to Live After College Guide which is included in our Real World 101 Care Packages. Visit our Care Package page to find out how to get one for yourself or for a lucky college grad!